Wild Like You
by CompMan44
Summary: You've heard of the "butterfly effect"; just one little change can make a big difference. So, what if Ranma really WAS a girl? - Chapter 3 up!
1. A Strange Stranger

**"Wild Like You"**

A Ranma ½ Fanfiction by CompMan44 

Romance/Comedy/AU 

**Disclaimer (CMA):** The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews. 

**Summary:** Gone is the uncute, macho tomboy we know and, er, don't hate as much as we could. Instead, we visit the Ranmaverse to find a busty, boy-crazy beauty whose life could never be better. Until (it's a law of the universe, or something) she meets Ranma. Ranma, the boy she's never met before, but falls in love with at first sight; Ranma, who has trained in the Art from the age of six, surpassing all but the greatest masters; Ranma, the boy who… isn't a boy? *Gulp* 

**Note:** I tried to keep most of the characters in, uh, character. But a select few are _severely_ OOC. Two obviously so from the start, and a few others (I think) as the story progresses. Well, you've been warned. But no, there won't be hordes of _male_ fiancés tailing Ranma-chan. ^_^ 

* * *

**Part 1: A Strange Stranger**

* * *

The Tendo household was as serene as ever. Someone with a Polaroid and a nice tree limb to sit in could make a fortune selling postcards with its photo. He wasn't planning to make postcards, however. Actually, he wasn't even taking pictures of the house. His target was inside. 

Akane Tendo. Even thinking the name sent chills of desire down his spine. Akane Tendo. Ooh, nice. Akane Tendo. Aaah… Whoa! There she is! 

*Click* *Click* *Click-click-click* 

He rapidly snapped shot after shot, watching intently as she swirled her skirt, looking at herself in the mirror. Her blue-green school uniform, complete with loose stockings and a matching hair bow, was supplemented by a less-than-modest amount of rose-colored (and scented, he had learned) lipstick, and a generous dab of emerald eyeshadow (with flecks of silver—he didn't get that telephoto lens for _nothing_). 

Leaning over in the tree's sturdy canopy to get a clearer shot, he nearly fell out at a shout from within the house. 

"Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane! Come here, please; I have an announcement!" 

The boy righted himself, hurriedly packed up his camera and gear, then jumped carefully into the bushes below, trying his best not to light them afire with the candles around his head. 

* * *

"I have an announcement!" 

"Yes, Father; I'll be right there." 

"Okay, Dad, just a sec'!" 

"…" 

Soun Tendo waited quietly for a third response. No such luck. 

"Akane! Come down, please! Akane?" 

"Just a _second_, Daddy! I'm _trying_ to put on some makeup!" 

A few moments later, Akane flew down the stairs. 

"Yes, Daddy? What's going on?" 

Soun cleared his throat and straightened his robe. He looked at each of them in turn, then began. 

"I've just received word from an old friend, Genma Saotome, that he and his son, Ranma, will be arriving shortly; likely this afternoon. I want each of you to be on your absolute _best_ behavior, because one of you will be engaged to Ranma, and we don't want him getting the wrong impression, now, do we?" 

Three mouths gaped at him. Two pairs of eyes stared at him. The third pair—Akane's—sparkled. 

"This is to do with continuing the Tendo school, Father?" 

"It does indeed. Ranma has been training with his father for the past ten years; they practice the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, which is, of course, our sister school. In order to continue and combine both schools, you three will need to decide which of you will become engaged to him." 

"Are you _crazy_, Dad? That arranged marriage stuff is so old-fashioned! Besides, who'll take care of finances? Who's going to bring in the money that supports this place?" 

"Really, Daddy? Engaged? Oh, I hope he's cute!" 

The two staring pairs of eyes turned to Akane. Two matching sweat drops appeared on two foreheads. 

"Yes, Akane, dear. One of you three is to marry him and continue our combined school." 

Two extended thumbs pointed at her. 

Two voices from either side of her said as one, "Her." 

* * *

A lean, muscular, black-haired boy, wearing a red Chinese-style silk shirt and black pants, ran down the street from out of nowhere, past the storefronts, past the milling pedestrians. Looking up in surprise, several Nerimans watched him pass, then went back to what they had been doing. 

A large, portly panda, carrying a large, portly bag, a pair of glasses perched on its ears, ran past as well. This disturbed the denizens only slightly more; many simply assumed it had escaped from the zoo. Why on earth it was carrying a bag—or wearing glasses, for that matter—mattered not. Strange things happened in this town; one just had to accept these things as they came. 

What followed _was_ a little out of the ordinary, even for Nerima. The panda, which, it was now obvious, was chasing the boy, made an angry swipe at him, but he leaped easily over the strike, delivering a swift kick to the panda's girth powerful enough to stun the massive creature. 

"Jeez, Pops! Whaddya think you're doin', huh? Gettin' me engaged without even askin'!" 

A series of unintelligible 'browf' noises was the panda's only reply. 

"Couldn't ya've at leas' told me _earlier_, so I could pound ya _then_?" 

The boy turned on his heel and walked away casually. Behind him, the panda struggled to its feet. Uprooting a nearby street sign, it swung the sign forcefully into the boy's head. To a collection of astonished eyes, the panda picked up the boy, threw him over its shoulder, and walked away, occasionally growling at a few people it considered to be staring too hard. 

* * *

"Oh, my. It's really raining quite hard, Father. Do you think they'll be able to make it in this weather?" 

"Of course, Kasumi-chan! They _are_ martial artists, after all, just like our family. A little _rain_ isn't going to stop them! HAHA!" 

A bang of the door startled them both. 

"I'll bet that's them now, as a matter of fact! Would you mind showing them in, Kasumi?" 

"Certainly, Father. I'll be right back." 

Before she got very far, a panda entered the sitting room, a black-haired boy slung over his shoulder, both of them dripping wet. The boy was pounding the panda on the back with his fists, to little effect. 

"Ah… wh-who… w-what…" Soun stuttered. 

The panda set the boy down in front of itself, then prodded him forward. 

"Um… I'm Ranma Saotome… sorry 'bout this." 

* * *

Two heads peeked from the top of the stairwell. 

"Wow! He _is_ cute!" whispered Akane. 

"Hoo, yeah; I almost regret giving him to you," Nabiki replied. 

"Well, it's too late now." She stuck out her tongue. 

"I guess. But I could still try to steal him from you—" 

"No way! I'm the one that agreed to get engaged to him!" 

"You'd agree to be engaged to half of the boys at school, too, if you had the chance." 

"I would not!" 

"Would too." 

"Would _not_!" 

"Would—" 

"Nabiki! Akane!" Their father's voice interrupted their spat. 

The two girls fairly ran down the stairs, slowing as they came near the assembled group. 

"Dad… what's a _panda_ doing in our house?" 

"Girls, this is, ah, Ranma Saotome. Your fiancé, Akane." 

Her eyes glittered at his acknowledgment. She took another appraising look at him, walking around him, 'inspecting' every last inch. It didn't go over well with Ranma. 

"What, am I a piece o' meat? So my pops got me stuck in this engagement thing, that don't mean ya gotta look me over like this! Sheesh, next I bet yer gonna say somethin' like 'He'll do' or somethin'!" 

"He'll do," she said, trying to conceal a giggle. 

Ranma growled. "Why, you…" 

"I'm just kidding, Ranma!" She giggled aloud, unable to control herself. "But you _are_ cute…" Her comment elicited a blush and sweatdrop from Ranma, and she giggled again. 

"Hey, Pops—I thought this was supposed ta be somethin' about combinin' the schools? How's that gonna work if I'm engaged ta _her_?" He tried to whisper discreetly to the panda, but Akane overheard. She huffed loudly and glared at him. 

"I bet I know just as much about martial arts as you, mister. How about we go out to the dojo and see how good _you_ are?" 

"You're on!" 

* * *

Akane, in her familiar yellow gi, practically danced around Ranma, throwing punches like fastballs, trying desperately to break through his defenses. _Is he reading my moves?_ she wondered to herself. 

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight _back_?" 

No sooner did the words leave her mouth, than Ranma had flipped over her head, rebounded from the wall, and tapped the back of her head, claiming his victory. For a few seconds they stood there, then Akane turned around, and they bowed to one another. 

"You're better than I gave you credit for, Ranma. Sorry I doubted you," she said with a smile. 

"Hey, you're not half bad yourself. Nice power, gotta work on your defense, though." 

"Friends?" She extended a hand. 

"Friends." He took it, and gave a quick shake. 

"I'm _so_ glad you're a guy. I'd have felt _horrible_ losing to a girl like that." 

Ranma stared at her—no, through her—for a moment, but smiled wistfully, and turned to leave the dojo. 

* * *

Nabiki and Kasumi watched from the sitting room as Akane and Ranma returned from their spar; more so Ranma than Akane. 

"Well, it seems they're getting along famously, ne, Kasumi?" 

"I suppose so, Nabiki. I almost regret giving him to Akane…" 

Nabiki snickered. "You? I don't know, I just can't see you in a gi, sis. That's Akane's thing." 

"As you well know, all three of us have trained quite thoroughly under Father. It just so happens that we two failed to continue that training, as I have my household duties, and you your financial pursuits. Akane, on the other hand, sees martial arts as her life—aside from boys, of course." 

"I guess I see your point. But still… he's quite a catch." 

"Indeed. I wonder if Akane would consider… but no. I couldn't do that to her, sisters or no." 

Kasumi put down the socks she had been darning, and followed Ranma up to his room, picking up a towel from the stack just inside the furoba. 

Handing him the towel, she told him, "The bath will be ready in just a minute, Ranma." 

"Ah, no, that's all right." 

"But I'm sure you're all sweaty from your workout, aren't you? It's perfectly fine; go ahead and take a bath." 

"I, uh… oh, okay." _They're going to find out sooner or later…._

* * *

Ranma stepped into the bathroom, the towel around his waist. He unwrapped himself and stepped into the warm bath, sighing. It was inevitable, of course. Nothing ever seemed to go right in her life. 

She heard the door slide open, and looked up, expecting her father. Damn the fates, but it was the last person she wanted to find out—Akane. Akane stopped short in the doorway, staring at the unfamiliar girl in the furo. 

"Um, gomen," she muttered, stepping back out into the hallway, and closing the door before her. She took a few deep breaths to regain her composure, then let out an earsplitting scream. 

* * *

"Was that Akane?" Nabiki asked of her older sister. 

"I… I think so…" 

They were quickly answered when the girl in question, wearing only a towel, burst into the sitting room, shrieking like a banshee. 

"What on earth is wrong, Akane?" 

"There's a _girl_ in the furo!" 

"A girl? Oh, no, and I just told Ranma that the bath was ready! I hope he doesn't go in there and—" 

"But what the hell is a girl doing in there, anyway?" 

"I'm wondering more about why you were going in there with Ranma," Nabiki said, winking at Akane. 

"I- I- that's not it at all! I didn't even know he was—" 

"Lighten _up_, Akane. Anyway, we should go see who this 'girl in the furo' is, before she gets away." 

She hadn't taken a step when a short, red-haired girl came down the stairs, wrapped in a towel. She hung her head, as if she knew the fate that awaited her. 

The three sisters and their father watched her descend. She slowly reached a spot just a few feet from them, then stopped and looked up at them. What looked like tears were starting to form in her eyes as she began to speak. 

"I- I'm Ranma Saotome… sorry 'bout this." 

* * *

"What the _hell_ is going on!?" Akane screamed. A woman walking with two children several blocks over covered their ears, and hurried them along. 

"I'm, uh… I'm really sorry, Akane, I… I wanted to tell you, but—" 

"You're telling me I'm engaged to a _girl_!?" 

"Wait, please, just let me explain!" 

The panda 'browf'ed, waving its paws around. 

"Um, well, my dad wants to say something, I guess… d'you have any hot water?" 

Kasumi slipped into the kitchen, returning shortly with a kettle of boiling water. Ranma accepted it, then turned to pour the water over the panda's head. Soun was amazed, to say the least, when the panda's body seemed to melt, revealing— 

"Genma? Genma Saotome? How on earth…?" 

"Ah, Kasumi, dear, it needn't be _that_ hot… As for your question, friend, it began about 16 years ago…" 

Genma proceeded to recount the tale of his and Ranma's adventures: how he had so badly wanted a son, to fulfill his promise with Soun; how his wife, Nodoka, gave him a daughter, but after the birth was rendered infertile, dashing his hopes of a son to carry on the school; how he learned of a legendary spring in China that could change the form of one's body; how he took the infant Ranma to Jyusenkyo in hopes of tranforming her into a boy; how he spent the next 6 years raising his 'son' and instructing 'him' to keep away from hot water; how he spent 10 years after that training his 'son' in the Art; how finally, after all Genma had done to prevent it, Ranma found out about her true form. And, of course, how he was sure something could be worked out to keep the honor of both families, seeing as it would now be difficult to wed Ranma and Akane without… repercussions. 

Soun's head was spinning. For some reason, the phrase "seriously screwy" passed numerous times through his mind, but he studiously ignored it, certain there must be _some_ way to reconcile this information overload. After a while, he gave in, with a less-than-convinced reply: 

"That's seriously screwy." 

Genma sweatdropped. 

"I don't think so, Dad; 'seriously screwy' would be Akane refusing a date with that rich Kuno guy from school. This takes 'seriously screwy' and blows it to smithereens with nuclear warheads." 

Genma sweatdropped again. The Tendos nodded grimly. 

"So let me get this straight: your daughter, whom you raised as a son, trained in the Art, and concealed her sex from everyone _including_ herself, is engaged to _my_ daughter, and the only way to preserve honor on both sides is to carry through with the marriage, or for the both of them to commit ritual suicide. Am I right?" 

"Um… er… something like that, yes." 

"No _way_! I am _not_ gonna get engaged to a _girl_! Daddy, how could you _do_ something like this!?" 

"Akane, dear, believe me, had I known…" 

"This can_not_ be happening! This is the most _perverted_ idea I have ever heard! Someone, please, wake me up from this nightmare… please, please…" 

Ranma sighed. "I _knew_ somethin' like this was gonna happen. That's it, I'm headin' for China, to see if I can find a cure or somethin'. Then maybe _somebody_'ll see me for who I _am_, not what I look like." She stood up, heading for the front door. 

"Now you wait just one minute, young lady," Soun told her sternly. "This may all be a misunderstanding, but you _are_ technically engaged to my daughter, until the engagement can be nullified. So you'll stay right here until we can do just that." 

"Nuh-uh. I'm outta here. You can keep your stupid 'engagement.' You comin' or what, Pops?" 

Ranma looked back to see her father leaning over to Soun, whispering. She gave them a quizzical look, then continued toward the door. 

"Ranma Saotome, I challenge you." Soun's voice stopped her cold. 

She stood frozen, barely moving even to breathe. "What?" she whispered, her eyes glaring holes into the door ahead. 

"I, Soun Tendo, challenge you, Ranma Saotome. I challenge you to remain in this household, under my care and supervision, at least until such time as your engagement to my daughter, Akane, can be legally nullified. I challenge you, if you cannot bring yourself to love her as the man you were raised to be, to love her as a friend to the woman you are. Finally, I challenge you to strive your absolute hardest to make both the Saotome and Tendo schools of Anything-Goes Martial Arts _proud_ of you, by seeing this situation as the challenge it already was, and accepting it." 

The redhead turned slowly, agonizingly slowly. Her glare moved as slowly from the door to her challenger. As she stared him down, a menacing glint in her eye, the beginnings of a smile twitched at the edge of her mouth. She whispered again, a little more loudly. 

"I… accept." 

* * *

"You can't be serious, Daddy! He's a—well, _she_ is a girl, and I am _definitely_ not going to go around kissing a _girl_; what would people _think_?" 

"For one, neither I nor anyone else said a word about kissing. Also, you must remember she's been raised as a boy her entire life, up until recently. And knowing you, I know you can't deny you're very attracted to her in male form." 

"I… well… that is…" Akane stuttered. It was true; 'he' was a very bishounen boy, and she knew quite a few of those—none of which stacked up very well against Ranma. Then there was the little matter of the _female_ Ranma looking sexier than even Akane herself—and, if you were to ask the male population of Furinkan High, that was saying something. "I— I suppose. But _still_! It's— it's— it's perverted!" 

"Is it as perverted as the times you dressed as a boy for the school play?" 

"Even worse than that! She really _is_ a boy! Well, sort of. And another thing—" 

"Hold on, hold on. You mean to tell me that Ranma—who was _forced_ to become a boy, to act and dress like a boy, to _think_ like a boy—is more perverted than you _choosing_ to act and dress like a boy? I can tell just by looking at her, watching her reactions, that she isn't very happy living like that, either! I think you _both_ need to give each other a chance, a chance to see each other for who you really are, not what you _look_ like or _act_ like. I think you need to go back in there and apologize to Ranma, perhaps even _pretend_ that you like her, or want to be her friend. I'm not saying I want to see my daughter marry another woman, either, but I also don't want to see a lost, confused little girl like that thrown out into the cold just because she isn't the boy you thought she was. Please, Akane… for me…?" 

Akane looked him in the eye, trying to see some hint of his usual trickery and plotting. Nothing. He seemed to be entirely honest on this. And, if she were to be honest with herself, she did kind of sympathize with the girl in the other room. He was right; that girl _had_ been forced to live the way she did; it wasn't something she had chosen at all, nor was it something she likely _would_ have chosen. She let out a deep sigh. 

"All right, Daddy. I'll give it a try. For you." 

"Thank you, Akane, dear. I know you don't like it, but it would be best, don't you think?" 

"Yes, Daddy. I… I guess you're right. But I wouldn't exactly say she's a _little_ girl, you know? She's… damn, she's better built than _me_." 

Soun sweatdropped. 

* * *

"Well, Ranma-chan, I'm glad you decided to stay. I'm Kasumi, the eldest; this is Nabiki, the… breadwinner of the family, now that Father has stopped teaching classes; and of course, you've ah, already met Akane, my youngest sister." 

"Um… okay. Nice ta meetcha." Ranma extended her hand. Kasumi looked at the hand, shook her head, and gave the redhead a crushing embrace. 

"Welcome to our home, little sister." 

"S-sister? But, I thought… y'know…" 

"Oh, you mean Akane? Well, don't let her get to you. She can be a violent maniac at times, but she's really a sweet girl deep down. Besides, I think she likes you—as a boy, anyway. And I'm sure she'll be more than willing to be friends with you as a girl. Either way, you're still like a sister to me." 

"Oh… thanks." Ranma smiled up at Kasumi. "Thanks." 

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Hmm… Yes, this is intended to be, first and foremost, a romance; comedy pulling a very close second. It's an unconventional romance, sure, but a romance nonetheless. And when you're a martial artist with a curse, things tend to get crazy. Someone tell me when it's over… whimper 

_Kasumi_: Compman-kun, I'm not certain it's such a good idea to put Ranma-kun and Akane-chan through this kind of thing. They _have_ been getting along well lately, but don't you think that their relationship is strained enough? 

Well, y'know… I just thought maybe a little role-reversal would help. Besides, it's only one story, and Ranma's been a girl for long periods of time before, so I think we're all right. 

_Kasumi_: But they are _both_ very volatile; I just hope you know what you're doing. 

Me too, Kasumi-chan… me too. 

I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Ja!

**Next chapter:** Ranma learns some of the darker aspects of girlhood: dresses, panties, and… Kuno? Read on in **Part 2: It's Not What It Looks Like**! 


	2. It's Not What It Looks Like

**"Wild Like You"**

A Ranma ½ Fanfiction by CompMan44 

Romance/Comedy/AU 

**Disclaimer (CMA):** The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews. 

* * *

**Part 2: It's Not What It Looks Like**

* * *

"Ah… h-hi, Akane." Ranma entered the room that their parents—Soun, actually—had decided they would be sharing. 

Lying on the bed, Akane opened one eye and regarded the redhead cautiously, as if she were concerned about some other secret the girl might hold. Concluding that there was nothing to worry about at present, she nodded her acknowledgment, and rolled over, facing the wall. 

"I'm… sorry that I… didn't tell you before. I just… I thought… when you asked if we could be friends, I— that's the first time in… a long time… that anyone's ever… said that to me." She looked balefully at Akane. 

"But… y'know, even if we can't… be friends, I wanna… I just wanna say, thanks. Y'know, for at least… being my friend for a little bit." 

The redhead smiled sadly, then turned away, setting up her mattress on the floor. She placed a pillow at one end, spread a blanket over the ensemble, then walked to the light switch by the door. 

"G'night, Akane." She switched the lights off, and lay down on her makeshift bed. Before long, she had begun to snore softly. 

Akane, on the other hand, lay awake in her bed, thinking about what had happened; what had taken her normal, everyday life, added Ranma Saotome, and… gotten completely out of hand. A jumble of ideas, thoughts, and reactions coursed through her mind. Then, out of all the day's events, one word stood out from all the rest. "Friends." Fiancés, that would be difficult. Lovers, _hell_ no. But friends? Sure. She could handle that. 

"Good night… Ranma." 

She closed her eyes, and let sleep take her. 

* * *

"Get up, boy! Time for our spar! Up an' at 'em!" Genma burst into the room shouting. He burst out again with the swing of a large… wooden… _thing_ that smacked him in the head. "Ite…" 

"Oh, my, Saotome-san… Akane's not really a morning person, you know." 

"Unh… ah, thank you, Kasumi, I'm _painfully_ aware of that fact." 

"Huh? Is it time ta get up already? Jeez, Pops, it's only five in the mornin'!" 

"The early bird gets the worm, son!" 

"I've _told_ ya about that, Pops. I am _not_ your _son_! And so help me if you call me that again, I'm gonna—" 

"What about our little _agreement_? I don't think your mother would be very happy if I failed to train my _son_ to become a 'man among men.'" 

Ranma sweatdropped. "That still don't make me like it, Pops. I'm your _daughter_, however ya wanna look at it. And don't you forget it!" Pulling out a mallet of her own, she gave Genma a matching lump for the other side of his head. 

* * *

"Oh, my, Ranma… it's not very ladylike to eat so quickly." Kasumi watched Ranma's meal with a worried countenance. Actually, she didn't know too many people _at all_ that ate so quickly. 

"Yeah, well, if you knew my Pops like I do, you'd be eatin' fast, too," Ranma replied around a mouthful of rice. "If ya don't eat fast, ya don't eat at all, 'cause _he_ gets it." She glared at the man angrily. 

"Now, now, it was all part of your training, of course! A martial artist must be speedy in all things, not discounting his meal," Genma said anxiously. 

"Yeah, right, trainin' my—" 

"Tsk, Ranma, it isn't befitting of a young lady to use such language." 

She bowed her head, slightly annoyed. "Gomen…" 

* * *

Kasumi spent the rest of the morning trying, with little success, to help Ranma feel comfortable with being a girl. She had started by teaching her feminine speech (much of which Ranma had never even _heard_, much less spoken; and even after learning it, she preferred not to use it), and gone on to show her how to put on the school uniform—at which Ranma was _not_ very pleased. 

"I gotta wear _this_ thing!?" she exclaimed, holding up the blue dress that constituted that uniform. 

"Yes, Ranma, you must; I'm sorry, but you're registered as a girl, so you're required to wear the girls' uniform and take the girls' curriculum," Kasumi said, and handed Ranma the white underskirt and blue sash that went with the dress. 

"Why do I gotta go ta school, anyway? I'm a martial artist; I ain't gonna—" 

"'I'm not going to—'" 

"Whatever. _I'm not_ gonna need no—" 

"'Any—'" 

"Okay, okay! _Any_ o' that math and writing ta be a good martial artist, am I? So why bother?" 

The eldest Tendo shook her head, sighing. Ranma was going to be a hard nut to crack, she could tell. But, if she'd managed with Akane, she could probably handle Ranma—she hoped. _Best to start with the basics,_ she decided. 

"Well… how about this, Ranma. Let's say you're teaching classes at the dojo. You charge beginners five thousand yen an hour, intermediate students seven thousand an hour, and advanced students ten thousand an hour. If you instructed eight beginners, five intermediates, and one advanced student, all for an hour apiece, how much money would you make?" 

"Uhh…" Ranma tallied off the numbers on her fingers. "Eighty-five thousand yen?" 

Kasumi stared at the redhead in shock. She ran the numbers through her head once more, just to be sure she wasn't hallucinating. No, that was right. "How did you…?" 

"I ain't _stupid._ I can _do_ all that stuff, well enough to get by, anyhow; had ta teach myself most of it, since Pops was too hung up on stealin' food ta care. But far as I can see, this 'school' thing's dumb. I ain't never been ta school, 'cept once, and that was 'cause Pops had ta stick around ta work off his tab. Only good thing 'bout goin' was that there were other people my age, instead o' just Pops yellin' at me all the time…" 

Ranma's eyes glazed over as she recalled one of the few times in her life when she'd felt like she had a friend. That poor kid, always getting lost… maybe she'd been a bit hard on him, teasing him about his directional ability like that, but she still thought of him as a friend. 

"I'm… I'm sorry, Ranma. I didn't realize—" 

"N-nah. It's okay. I'm used to it." 

"Used to what?" 

"Ta bein' alone. Ain't nothin' new. Ya learn quick ta get over it, ta buckle down an' stick ta yer trainin'. 'Th' life of a martial artist is fraught with peril,' as Pops likes ta say." 

"Oh… well, now that you're here, we can't have that, can we? I'm sure you and Akane could be good friends if you wanted to. You wouldn't have to be so lonely that way. And I think she wouldn't mind some company at school; she seems to dislike it just as much as you." 

The younger girl sighed, toying with her pigtail. "Yeah, I guess. Can't hurt ta try, ne?" 

* * *

The next morning, Ranma woke to a discreet knocking at the door to her and Akane's room. Opening her eyes, she saw through the window that it was still dark outside. As she got to her feet and padded toward the door, it opened a crack to reveal the face of Kasumi, with a slightly pale Genma in tow. 

"Ranma? Your father has asked me to wake you to begin your morning spar," Kasumi explained. 

The idea of her father _requesting_ something like that was too much for Ranma; she nearly burst out laughing—and in fact giggled a little—before she realized Akane was still sleeping nearby. Quickly hushing herself, she whispered to Kasumi, "'Kay. Tell 'im I'll be right down." 

The redhead donned a pair of boxers and a starched-white gi, then trotted down the stairs to meet her father. She was in a remarkably good mood this morning. Perhaps it had to do with her dreams that night… she couldn't remember any of them, but she remembered they'd been very good dreams; nothing at all like the ones she'd been having lately about that… that _ordeal_. She shuddered just thinking about it. 

* * *

Reaching the backyard, Ranma noticed that Genma was nowhere to be seen. She assumed a defensive stance, expecting an ambush—and rightly so. The large but swift man leaped from the roof above the doorway, nearly crushing the girl, had she not rolled out of the way mere inches from his feet. The two began to trade blows, feeling out the other's defenses in an elegant dance of sorts. The match lasted for hours, shifting from a tango to a waltz, to a fox trot, to an aerial ballet. At last, the elder combatant showed the tiniest weakness, and his opponent landed a roundhouse to his shoulder, sending him into the small koi pond at one side of the yard. 

The panda hauled himself out of the water, then picked up where he'd left off as best he could. His increased bulk made weathering attacks much easier, but he also found it much more difficult to strike the more agile redhead. Hard as it may be, though, with his power, one strike was all he would need. 

And one strike he managed. A brutal haymaker—one that could have ripped the head from an unsuspecting victim—grazed the girl's abdomen; she spun wildly through the air with the impact, landing in the pond herself. 

As he climbed angrily from the pond, Kasumi's call of "Breakfast!" perked up the ears of both. They bowed to one another, a formal concession that seemed to say, "You have fought well, but you will fail when next we battle." 

* * *

Breakfast finished and bags packed, Akane led Ranma through the streets of Nerima to her new school: Furinkan High, home of the All-Tokyo Science Fair First Place Team (three years running), the All-Tokyo Rhythmic Gymnastics Competition Winners (undefeated during the history of the sport), and last, but _definitely_ not least, as Akane so modestly pointed out, the All-Tokyo Kendo Tournament Champion, Tatewaki Kuno. 

… Who, at the moment, was waiting at the school gates to ask a certain "raven-haired angel of mercy" if she would go to dinner with him this Wednesday evening. And hoping that _this_ time, she wouldn't order the most expensive item on the menu—rich as he was, his pocketbook was still smarting from last Thursday's sup at the Kappöten Katarai. 

Unaware of Kuno's worries, however, Akane was getting quite adamant about Ranma's insistance on walking the fence along the road, instead of using the road itself. Ranma claimed it was a balance exercise, balance being central to the overwhelmingly midair techniques of the Saotome school, and that if she didn't practice as often as possible, she might start to get sloppy, and lose her status. Well, not in so many words; what she'd _said_ was, "If I screw up my trainin', Pops'll cream me next spar," then run on ahead of Akane. 

"Ranma! Would you _please_ get down from the fence? You're gonna give nosebleeds doing that." 

"Nani? Whaddya mean?" 

"Your _underwear_ is showing! Can't you have even a little bit of feminine modesty?" 

"Jeez. I ain't used to this kind o' stuff, y'know. 'Sides, ain't like none of 'em never seen it before, anyway." 

Akane briefly considered the unspoken implications of that, and sweatdropped. She quickened her pace to match Ranma's, trying once more to reason with the other girl. Maybe if she tried Kasumi's tactic? 

"You know, it isn't ladylike to show off your panties." 

"Che! I ain't no lady. A girl, maybe; but I ain't no lady." 

Akane growled in frustration. This… this _tomboy_ was really getting on her nerves; if she wasn't careful, she'd find herself _extremely_ glad to be a girl, if only to forego performing a lovely soprano solo. _Why,_ Akane thought, _even if she was a boy, I'm just so pissed right now, I swear I wouldn't think twice about removing certain parts of his anatomy…_

She was dimly aware of a soft _whump_. Ranma had leapt down, and was now walking alongside her, keeping excellent pace with Akane's anger-induced "power walk." The redhead looked nowhere but at her feet, kicking at whichever particularly large stones in the street struck her fancy. 

* * *

"Do mine eyes deceive me? Or have the heavens indeed deemed myself worthy of yet another serendipitous rendezvous with this goddess in onyx crowned? I would prostrate myself before thee." 

"Ohayo, Kuno-chan. Really, if this is a chance meeting, I'd hate to see your idea of a planned one. Have you been standing out here all morning?" 

"Nay, fair Akane Tendo; in sooth I have awaited you since nightfall." 

Somehow, that didn't surprise her—neither that he had spent so long preparing and waiting for her, nor that he admitted, or rather, boasted about doing so. He was a boy, to be sure (as sure as she could be, anyway), but he was a bit… thick-headed. Even for a boy. She was trying to come up with a suitably stinging reply—the humor in which would most likely sail miles above Kuno's head—but the kendoist spoke before she got a chance. 

"And who, prithee, is this?" he exclaimed, finally seeing Ranma standing beside the original object of his affection. Stooping to one knee before her, he took her hand and continued, "A foreign beauty, perhaps, by her locks of reddest flame? A beauty she is, indeed, for those who would claim otherwise must be utter fools. Surely such a vision of loveliness has come hearing rumors of my chivalry and honor, and wishes to dine with me? Very well, then, I shall—" 

Akane, who was quietly seething throughout his soliloquy, had finally had enough, and silenced Kuno with a snap kick to the gut. "You _playboy_! What am _I_, then? A side dish?" Akane shouted at him. She huffed and turned away, stomping into the school building and up the stairs to her classroom. Ranma glanced back at Kuno, feeling a little sorry for him, fool that he was. Then she took off after Akane, who had completely forgotten she needed to show Ranma where the room was. 

* * *

"Good morning, class; I'd like to introduce to you our new student, Ranma Saotome. Let's all give her a big 'hi!' … Or not," the teacher added dryly. "However, that doesn't excuse the fact that both she and Akane were late to class. Go stand in the hall." 

… Which was where they were now. Ranma sighed, shifting the weight of her water buckets to let the blood flow to her fingers once more. It was bad enough having to go to school, just to make Kasumi (and maybe, just maybe, Akane as well) happy, but to get punished for tardiness on the first day? _I might as well just stay home and teach myself_, she thought bitterly. _Fat lot of good it does to stand out here for something I had no control over._

* * *

Meanwhile, down the hall… 

"Nabiki Tendo, I would—" 

"Date with me? Sorry, Kuno-chan, I'm booked for months. But I might have a cancella—" 

"Actually, no. What I intended to say was that I would inquire of you a means to profess such things to the radiant and fiery beauty who yon morning accompanied my love, your sister, Akane Tendo." 

"Oh, you mean Ranma. Yeah, she's staying at our house. Why? Did she turn down your offer of a date? Gee, what a shame." 

"A shame indeed, for I was rudely interrupted in my endeavour by the beauteous Akane, who no doubt harbors some measure of jealousy that I would date with this Ranma; she need not fear, however: I would love them both!" 

"Of course, Kuno-chan, of course. So you want to ask her out? I might be able to come up with a plan for only, oh, twenty thousand yen." 

"Consider it done. Such is a trifle in the shadow of the pursuit of my twin loves, who even now I suspect are whispering of me, in voices reserved for the chambers of marriage." 

"I'm sure. But…" 

"Yes?" 

"There _is_ one little detail you might want to know, and I'll gladly share it for five hundred yen." 

He handed her the banknote. "I beseech thee to impart this knowledge to me." 

"Well, you see, Kuno… Ranma and Akane… are _engaged._" 

"'Tis a tragedy! Can this be so? Not one, but both my loves are already promised unto another? This bodes not well with my heart. Please, that it may be at peace, pray tell the names of the honorable men who have claimed their hearts so?" 

"I don't think you're going to like this…" 

"I beg you! Such men are surely the most fortunate upon this earth; I would not bring upon myself _mis_fortune by attempting on their lives. They are safe; I wish only that you tell me to whom my angels are betrothed!" 

"Ranma and Akane… they're engaged… to each other." 

"_NANI_!?" 

* * *

Lunch: the bane of all semblance of discipline. A cacophony of conversation sounded across the schoolyard as students traded gossip, cards, and bentou, everyone with or near their chosen clique. A redhead and her iinazuke walked farther away from most of the larger groups, laying claim to a little spot beneath the largest tree in the yard. Akane sat up against the weathered trunk, and Ranma plopped down next to her, then proceeded to pick tiny plant burrs from her loose stockings. 

"Che. Stupid stickers; keep catchin' on these damned stockin's… _kuso_, I hate this uniform." 

"Well, you know, Ranma, you're not the only one. If it were _my_ decision, we'd at least have the option of pantyhose, or even going bare-legged—" 

"That _ain't_ what I meant! I'm sayin' I don't even like wearin' a uniform! What's wrong with the stuff I wear every other day?" 

"You mean that silk shirt and sweatpants getup? Please, Ranma, don't kid yourself. You look like a fool wearing that! And your _hair_—don't even get me _started_ on your hair; you could take on the _goddesses_ in a beauty contest with that hair, if you would only let it down. But _no_, you keep it in that _infernal_ pigtail. Kami-sama, have you _no_ fashion sense at _all_!?" 

Ranma crossed her arms over her knees, laying her head on them. "Yeah… guess that's what I get for livin' like a boy for my whole life, huh? Might as well give up now, ain't never gonna amount to nothin'… can't even tie a damned _bow_ without screwin' up…" 

Akane saw that Ranma had taken her comment a little harder than she'd intended. "Oh, no, Ranma, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm just saying… well, the way you usually dress, you're not likely to get much notice, if you know what I mean." 

"Yeah, well that Kuno guy was sure givin' me 'notice.' I don't think I liked it, neither." 

"Grr… don't remind me of him. He… he… grr! That _jerk_! And with me right there watching! I swear, if he wasn't so 'chivalrous' he probably would've started feeling you up without caring if I was there or not! And here I thought he _liked_ me, but _no_, he has to go and—" 

"Hey, uh, Akane…" 

"—swear that guy's trying to build a harem or something—" 

"Akane…" 

"—now that I think about it, there was that Machiko girl last week he was coming on to—" 

"Akane!" Ranma tugged hard on her sleeve, pointing toward the school with the other hand. 

"Nani… huh? Why is everybody coming over here?" 

* * *

A large group of girls, many of them friends of Akane, stampeded toward the pair's lunch spot. As the throng approached, Ranma and Akane were overwhelmed by a roar of questions. 

"Akane, is it true?" "You're engaged to a _girl_?" "I never knew you were like that…" "Would you go out with _me_?" "Of course not, you idiot, she's engaged…" "But I thought you liked boys!" "Yeah, what about Kuno?" 

"_ENOUGH_!" Akane shouted. The crowd quieted down, but a few murmurs continued to float around. 

"I don't know what kind of bull you heard, but it's not like that!" 

"Yeah, we're just friends! Why would I wanna be engaged to a _girl_?" 

"But, we heard Nabiki telling Kuno that—" one girl began. 

"You heard _what_!?" 

Another girl explained, "Your sister, Nabiki, said that you and that girl were engaged to be married, and…" She trailed off, sensing Akane's building anger. 

"_NABIKIIIIII_! You are so _dead_!" 

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I'm trying to keep this story as close to the canon as I can; not the _same_, but parallel, to balance out some of the personality traits that I changed. As you can see, there is no "Hentai Brigade," since for one, the new Akane (who seems to have taken on some of Nabiki's traits, like flirtatious baiting… ^.^) isn't likely to turn down a date, and therefore, also because Kuno was never prompted to make his infamous speech. He's still as much of a "hopeless romantic" as ever, though. 

Call me crazy, but I like writing Kuno's dialogue more than almost any other character. I think it's something to do with using all those fancy words in a single sentence, using medieval sentence structures. Hmm… maybe I _am_ crazy. 

_Ranma_: There ain't no "maybe," jerk. You're a loon. I can't _believe_ ya spent all that money on "Jusenkyo Curse Reversal Soap" just for this damned story. You're gonna hate your life when this is over, I promise. Stupid stuff won't wash off for _weeks_… 

Hey, I'll have you know that stuff came with a free sample of "Jusenkyo _Waterproof_ Soap"! 

_Ranma_: Good. Get me another one and I'll let ya keep your legs intact, too. 

*sweatdrop* "Too"? 

By the way, the name "Kappöten Katarai" literally means "The Restaurant of Lover's Vows". I especially like the name because it could also be translated idiomatically as the "Chat Café"—not to be confused with a certain feline-inspired establishment, which has yet to exist in this timeline. ^_^ 

Something to ponder: while reviewing some episodes to refresh my memory, I noticed that at the end of Episode 2 ("School Is No Place For Horsing Around!") Ranma, Akane, and Kuno are each holding _one_ bucket of water, but, in the same scene at the beginning of Episode 3 ("A Sudden Storm of Love… Hey, Wait a Minute!") the three are holding _two_ buckets each! Weird… 

I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Ja!

**Next chapter:** Ryoga arrives on the scene with a less-than-friendly greeting for Ranma… but things get a little complicated when he finds out _he_ is a _she_! Read on in **Part 3: A Lost Cause**, coming soon! 


	3. A Lost Cause

**"Wild Like You"**  
A Ranma ½ Fanfiction by CompMan44  
Romance/Comedy/AU

**Disclaimer (CMA):** The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews

* * *

**Part 3: A Lost Cause**

* * *

_Somewhere in southern Japan…_

A young man, of muscular physique and short-cropped hair, with a bearing that suggested the influence of the martial arts, was… lost. It wasn't exactly a _rare_ occurence, mind you, but at the moment it frustrated him to no end, as he had an actual destination in mind this time. A destination that, unfortunately, had moved since last this young man saw him. So, he had stopped to ask directions. 

"RANMA SAOTOME! You will _pay!_ On my honor as a martial artist, when I find you, I will make you _pay_ for what you've done to me!" 

The old man resting nearby knew the area quite well—as well he should, having traveled this road to market with his yattai nearly every day for the past thirty-seven years. Meeting this lost young man, he felt obliged to lend a hand, since it wasn't exactly an easy place to get around. But the boy seemed to have a… problem. "Ah, sonny, I said Tokyo's _thattaway._" 

Ryoga turned to look at the man. "Eh? Yes, of course; my thanks," he said—and proceeded to walk in yet another, but still incorrect, direction. 

"No, no, no! _That_ way! _That_ way! Why're ya so set on goin' _this_ way?! Jus' go straight thattaway, an' yeh'll find Tokyo in a coupla' hours, tops." 

"Again, I thank you." 

"But…! Oh, why'd I even _bother_…."

* * *

The sun was shining, the grass was green, the sky was blue, the Saotomes were sparring—all in all, a relatively normal day at the Tendo dojo, since Ranma's arrival a scant week ago. Akane couldn't help but chuckle as the drawn-out match turned into less a battle of skill and more a battle of wit. Both Ranma and Genma had taken several dunks in the koi pond already, and still neither showed signs of slowing down. 

_They really are very skilled,_ she realized. _Especially Ranma… he—er, she must've been holding back a lot in our match the other day._

"Saotome-san! Ranma-kun! Breakfast!" Kasumi called from the door. 

Genma whipped out a wooden sign, reading "We'll be there in a moment, Kasumi-chan." His momentary distraction, however, was all Ranma needed to send him flying once more. In the space of just a few seconds, the panda had leapt from the koi pond, decked a retreating Ranma, and sent the boy for his own swim. 

"Oh, my…"

* * *

_Now where am I?_ Ryoga thought, eyeing the town's bright banners and market stands. _Maybe I should ask someone for directions—again._ He approached a man at a smaller booth. "Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to Furinkan High School? Right here, you see, on this map." 

"Ah, sir… this is a map of Tokyo." 

"Of course. That's where I'm headed," Ryoga stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

"But you're in Sapporo!" 

"Er… really? Crap. Which way is Tokyo from here?" 

"It's pretty much straight that way," the stranger replied. He pointed southward, to where Ryoga could just make out Mount Fuji's peak through the mist. 

"Thank you very much." 

"Not _that_… oh, never mind."

* * *

"Oh, _no!_ Ranma, hurry up and finish eating; we're going to be late!" 

"Yeah, but Kasumi said—" 

"_Forget_ what she said; we've only got twenty minutes to get to class! And I you don't want to hold buckets _again,_ do you?" 

"Well, no…" 

"Then get your bag, and come _on!_ Let's get going!" 

Ranma quickly complied, downing the remains of her breakfast, and following Akane out the door and down the street—whereupon she was promptly dashed with a ladleful of cold water. Now several sizes too large for her uniform—which, fortunately, managed not to rip, but was certainly to the point of considering it—and a few yards behind Akane, she ran to catch up and yelled to get the other girl's attention. 

"Akane! Wait! I gotta get some hot water!" 

The noticeably male tone to Ranma's voice made Akane stop in her tracks. "Ranma, please tell me you _didn't_…" She turned around to look. Shaking her head in exasperation, she finished, "You _did._" She swore under her breath. "Well, I guess we'd better make a stop at Doctor Tofu's; come on, Ranma." She grabbed the former redhead by the wrist, dragging him around the corner to a small clinic. 

Out in front of the clinic, Ranma waited for Akane to run in for a kettle of hot water. He busied himself with studying the sign, which read "Tofu Clinic - Chiropractor - Acupuncture - Moxibustion" in bold kanji. Quickly tiring of that, Ranma tried making out shapes in the clouds, and began to wonder what was taking so long. 

From seemingly nowhere, a hand reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. _WHAT?! I didn't sense anything!_ He whipped around on reflex, dropping into a defensive stance as he screamed. "KYAAAAAAA!" 

"Oh, my, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Let me introduce you to Betty-chan," said a kindly man to the shaking Ranma. The man glanced skeptically at the 'boy's' choice of wardrobe, then gestured to the artificial skeleton in his hands. "Sir, meet Betty-chan. Betty-chan, this is… I'm sorry, what was your name again?" 

"R-R-Ranma Saotome," Ranma stuttered. "Anou… are you Tofu-sensei?" 

"Ah! Tofu-sensei! There you are; I was looking all over for you," Akane interrupted, coming out the door with a large kettle in hand. "I wanted to ask if you had any hot water, but I found it myself. Here you go, Ranma-chan." She upturned the kettle over Ranma's head. 

Doctor Tofu watched in astonishment as the liquid poured over the boy, and as if washing away his dark hair and strong frame, replaced it with a fiery red crown atop a—rather short—young girl. Tofu blinked his eyes a few times, looking between the two for some explanation. 

Noticing the doctor's curious stare, Ranma began to relate her story. It took a good five minutes, during which Akane stamped her feet impatiently, and glanced at the clock every few seconds. 

When Ranma was finished, Tofu nodded sagely, a thoughtful glaze to his eyes. "I see, I see. In fact, I believe I've heard of these 'Cursed Springs'; as a mythology enthusiast, I keep many volumes on ancient Chinese lore, and I recall quite a few mentions of something like this. So very sorry, though; not a one gave any sort of a cure," he finished, looking back up at Ranma. "I would very much like to talk with you and your father about this sometime, if you don't mind…?" Ranma nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when Akane grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her to her feet. 

"Okay, you're done; come on, Ranma! We've got to get to school! Let's go!" an exasperated Akane shouted, grabbing Ranma and half-leading, half-dragging her out the door. With an embarrassed grimace, Ranma glanced back to a smiling, waving Doctor Tofu. 

"Have fun at school, girls!"

* * *

_I must be going in circles,_ Ryoga thought, _because this building looks very familiar._ He spotted a boy in a school uniform, and moved to cut him off. Grabbing the boy by the collar, Ryoga lifted him to eye level and asked in a menacing tone, "Where is Furinkan High School?" 

The boy, clearly frightened, and certainly not wanting to risk the sort of severe bodily harm that Ryoga seemed capable of dealing, raised one arm and meekly pointed to an embossed sign not five feet away. "It's r-right here, s-sir." 

Ryoga turned to read the sign. 'Furinkan High School,' the kanji read. He stared at it for a moment, as if etching the strokes in his mind, then slowly lowered the boy to the ground. "Thank you," he uttered simply. The boy nodded and rushed into the school. 

As he watched the boy's retreating back, Ryoga smiled, showing his fangs. "I've found you, Ranma Saotome. I've found you at last, and YOU WILL PAY!"

* * *

_Only the second week of school, and I've got bucket duty again,_ Ranma grumbled to herself. _And on top of that, Akane got in ahead of me, and doesn't have to do this. Damn this curse._

So lost in her musings was the redhead that she almost didn't notice the bell ring, announcing the start of lunch period. Almost, because it was quite difficult to not notice the ensuing flood of students, rushing out of the classroom and down the stairs. With a sigh of relief, she (carefully!) set down the buckets and joined the crowd, trying to find Akane's face among the many others. Ranma made it all the way to the front yard seeing neither hide nor hair of the other girl, so she turned back to enter the school building. 

Before she got far, however, a first-year boy coming out the door lost his balance on the steps, hurdling into her and drenching her with a glass of iced tea. As the first year got to his feet, he apologized profusely, then stopped silent when he got a good look at who he was talking to. 

"Uh, y-you're— the g-guy… that was l-looking for, um, R-Ranma, right?" the boy stuttered out. Looking a little more carefully, though, he noticed something was a little different. "Ano… why are you wearing a g-girl's uniform?" 

A furious Ranma—furious in part because of 'his' transformation (and the resulting giggles and guffaws from a few students who were walking by), and another part due to the smaller boy's naïvete—glared up at the first-year. "I ain't _lookin'_ for Ranma; I _am_ Ranma! An' I'm wearin' a girl's uniform 'cause I'm a _girl!_" The first-year's eyes widened at Ranma, bewildered. "Well, I _would_ be if ya hadn't splashed me with yer tea, baka—" 

Ranma cut short, hefted the boy on one shoulder, and leaped, moments before the sidewalk between them exploded. "What the…?" 

"So, Ranma. I see you're still good at _running away!_" an angry voice exclaimed coldly. 

Turning to face the speaker, Ranma froze. "Y-you?!" he gasped. After a moment, he added, "Anou… who are you, anyway?" 

Understandably, the gathering crowd joined Ryoga in receiving excruciating headaches, courtesy of Mother Earth. Ryoga lifted himself from his crater, glaring at Ranma furiously. "What are you trying to pull, Saotome? Because of you, I've seen hell!" 

Ranma scratched his head, deep in thought. "No, no, I've never been there, so that can't be why I recognize you… hmm…" 

"If you really don't remember me, then maybe this will jog your brain. _You _ran out on an _honorable duel_ between men!" 

"Oh! Wait a second, that sounds kinda familiar… um… um… Ryoga?" Ranma smacked his palms. "Yeah, Hibiki Ryoga! Oi, oi, long time, no see, pal!" 

Ryoga smirked. "Long time, indeed. And to hide from my wrath, I see you've picked an appropriate disguise; after all, compared to me, you _are_ as weak and timid as a girl." 

"Huh? Disguise? What're ya— this?" Ranma asked, fingering the material of his blouse. "It's my uniform, or didn't you recognize it from all the other girls… around… oh. But hey, what're ya doin', anyway, attackin' me outta nowhere? Thought we were friends, Ryoga, ne?" 

"_Friends?!_ After you humiliated me? After you shamed me day after day? After you _ran out_ on an honorable duel?" 

At that, Ranma gaped. "Ran out? Whaddya mean? _You_ were three days late to that duel." 

"Yes, it took me those three days of grueling exertion just to reach the appointed place. And when I did, you had run away like the _coward_ you are!" 

The pigtailed boy gawked at Ryoga (as did many onlookers), an enormous sweatdrop rolling down his head. "Ryoga… the 'appointed place' was the _empty lot behind your house._ How could it take _three days_ to get there?!" 

"E-enough small talk! At least take your _death_ like a man!" 

"Wha—?" 

A shocked Ranma was cut off by a left jab from Ryoga, then a right and another left. Instinctively he dodged sideways, each punch coming uncomfortably close to an ear, then countered with a low sweep kick into Ryoga's knee. The strike was blocked, though, by a large red umbrella that the lost boy had pulled from his backpack. He retracted the umbrella, then swung it in a downward arc at Ranma's legs. The pigtailed fighter easily jumped the attack, but was nearly caught in the head by the boy's foot as he followed up with a roundhouse kick. Ranma ducked beneath his leg, then dealt the boy an uppercut as he finished his spin facing her. 

Ryoga landed several feet away, not very gracefully, but at least upright. He reached behind his head, untying the striped bandana that restrained his unruly hair. Ranma stood watching him, a bit put out that the boy was taking time out of their battle to groom—then watched in surprise as Ryoga began to spin the bandana on his finger, faster and faster, and faster still, until it was whirling like a circular saw blade, and looked just as dangerous. _It's just a bandanna,_ Ranma told himself, but somehow he knew it wasn't. Ryoga raised the spinning cloth above his head, then let it fly toward Ranma.

* * *

Akane watched from the 'sidelines' as Ranma traded blows with the stranger, growing increasingly worried as they moved faster, their kicks and punches becoming nearly invisible. _They're amazing,_ she thought in awe, _and neither is even breaking a sweat._

When Ryoga brought out his bandana and started it spinning, she got a peculiar, queasy feeling in her stomach. This was _not_ looking good; someone could get seriously hurt. 

"Ranma, this guy's dangerous! Let me help you!" Akane shouted, running toward her fiancé. 

"Don'tcha think I _know_ that, Akane? Stay back! I can handle him!" Ranma told the girl. 

"This guy wants to kill you, and you're telling me to 'stay back'? I can hold my own as a martial artist, thank you very much!" 

"Listen, Akane, you say he's dangerous, but you don't know what this guy's really capable of," Ranma said with an unnatural calm, a glint of fear flashing in his gray-blue eyes. 

_What? Ranma… afraid? Then this guy…._ Before she could finish her thought, a blaze of yellow streaked by her: the bandanna was clearly aimed at Ranma, but he had easily dodged it. Akane just stood there, frozen in shock, as the boy called Ryoga reached into his pack for another bandanna, and she nearly screamed when Ranma tackled her out of its way as it, too, flew erratically for the two of them. 

She breathed a sigh of relief when it _whizzed_ past their heads, then Ranma practically pushed her away, shouting, "I _told_ ya ta keep outta the way! Just go; I'll deal with him!" 

Akane was too dumbstruck to argue.

* * *

Distractedly watching the dark-haired girl backed away from the fight, Ranma didn't fully notice as Ryoga pulled out yet another bandanna, then several more. In rapid succession, he twirled each until their stripes blurred into the yellow, then released them directly at the pigtailed boy. 

He dodged amidst the flurry of deadly cloths, charging at Ryoga with his fists at the ready. The lost boy looked on in amusement as Ranma closed the distance between them, then, at the last minute, he pulled his belt out sharply, holding it out before him. It hardened inexplicably into what could pass as a short sword, and Ranma, unsure of what to do, stopped abruptly, eyeing Ryoga warily. 

Ryoga gave another toothy grin. "What's the matter, Ranma? _Scared?_" 

"Nah, just lettin' you make the first move," Ranma replied, returning the wry smile, even as his hands shook. 

He did just that, and if it were possible, Ryoga's wide grin only seemed to get wider. Swinging the belt in a wide arc, he chuckled when Ranma flinched at the high-pitched whistle the belt made as it cut through the air. She was unprepared for the lost boy's next move; he swung the belt again, but this time, he released it, and the strip of hardened leather flew at the redhead like a boomerang. 

Ranma barely dodged the belt, but the distraction left him open for another assault by Ryoga, a series of powerful kicks delivered to her sides and legs. Ranma blocked the majority of the blows, dodged a few of the higher ones, but his fatigue—and fear—began to show. 

The pigtailed boy was almost caught unawares again, when the belt, having made a large circle around the open arena, returned from behind him, again like a boomerang. He sensed it just in time, but it came uncomfortably close, whistling like before as it passed over him. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Ranma watched the belt twist and soar, then realized that it was arcing straight for Akane—whose attention was currently away from the fight, as she was still somewhat bitter about being told to keep out of it. 

"Akane!" he shouted. "Akane!" Ranma knew the girl was a skilled martial artist, but the belt was flying too quickly—she wouldn't be able to dodge, and Ranma wouldn't be able to get there in time. One last time, he shouted as loud as he could, "Akane!" The girl finally heard him above the excited chatter of the crowd, and whipped her head around to look at him, only to see instead a whirling blade just a few feet ahead of her, and moving with great speed… 

Deadly speed. With a sickening _rip_, the blade-belt had hit, passed entirely through, and barely slowed. Its end drove into the ground, a length of bloodstained fabric fluttering from the tip like a barber's flag. Across the yard, Ranma gasped, and fell to his knees. "A— Akane… oh, no…" 

Akane was flooded by a sense of shock. She raised a tentative finger to her neck, and drew it away bloody, a few tiny links of gold chain adhering to the blood. Reaching back again, she ran her hand behind her head, feeling the short brush of midnight hair that had once reached her waist; Akane noted with some irony that it now reached her feet. It was the last thought she had before she collapsed, face first, throwing up a cloud of the dusty and red-spattered ground.

* * *

As though in a trance, Ryoga stared at the fallen form. To him, this was a new experience—not the fight, or the pain, or even the blood; no he'd seen all that before, and knew he would see it again and again. What was new to him, what his mind had trouble comprehending, was that he had done all this to a girl. Hadn't he been trained to protect women? to keep them from harm? And yet here he was, causing with his own hand what looked to be a serious wound, and to as innocent a girl as he'd ever seen. 

Ranma was suddenly beside him, then past him, rushing to Akane's side. With a gentle touch, the pigtailed boy checked her pulse, then leaned over to listen for her breathing. But when Ranma lay his head on her chest, Ryoga assumed the worst. 

"Oh, Kami-sama, no," he muttered. He, too, ran to the girl, and tried to lift Ranma off to get a closer look, but the boy's eyes were closed, and his arm was around Akane's neck, holding a pressure point to suppress the diminishing blood flow. 

"She's okay," whispered Ranma, mostly to himself. "She'll be okay. Just— just a cut. Gods, I was so worried." 

Ryoga found himself moved by the sentiment, but more intriguing was the way Ranma said it. In all the years he had fought and followed the Saotome boy, he had not once heard even _watashi_. But for as egotistical a boy as Ranma, using the feminine _atashi_ was like signing your own death warrant, yet Ryoga heard it with his own ears. 

Then it clicked. The odd speech. The school uniform. The way Ranma fought, as though unfamiliar with his body. _Could it be? Ranma is really… a girl? But how is that possible? He's always gone on about how manly he is, how weak and defenseless women are. What's going on?_ Only one way to find out. 

"R-Ranma?" 

Ranma lifted his head. "Nn?" 

Ryoga's expression softened; his earlier loathing was tempered by Ranma's unexpected concern for this girl Ryoga barely knew, or for anyone. "I really don't know how to say this, but… what are you?" 

"Huh?" The pigtailed boy was genuinely confused. "What, like what?" 

"Er, I mean… you see… well, what are you, a guy or a girl? I always thought you were a guy, but…." 

"Ah." Ranma chuckled quietly, saying, "So did I, Ryoga. It's a long, long story." He sat up, lifting the unconscious Akane into his arms. "Let's get her to the clinic, then maybe I'll tell ya what I can."

* * *

At the school clinic, the nurse confirmed to Ranma that Akane had only gotten a cut, albeit a large one, and it had fortunately missed any major blood vessels. It only needed a few gauze pads, but the Tendou girl would need rest for the remainder of the day to recover. Ranma had gotten some hot water from the nurse, and she and Ryoga were now sitting in a pair of chairs in the waiting room. 

"It's like this, Ryoga," Ranma began. "Mom and Pop always wanted a boy, ne? But they got a girl the first time—me. An' after I was born, Mom couldn't have no more kids, so my Pop tried to find some way of makin' her think I was a guy. He'd got the doctors to call me 'him' around my Mom, and he'd dress me as a guy, and he even did all the diaper changin' so's she'd never know." She gave a cheerful laugh. "Can't say he weren't determined, hm?" 

Ryoga found the story interesting, he really did. But Ranma's lilting voice mesmerized him, and his mind kept returning to the first time he'd met him—her, he reminded himself; it would take some getting used to. That day was in his first year at middle school, as it was for Ranma. And at an all-boys' middle school, lunchtime was war…. 

—:—

"Last melon-pan of the day!" cried the lunch-lady. "Who wants melon-pan?" 

"Me!" "I do!" "Gimme it!" replied no less than a dozen voices. While they shouted, from behind the crowd approached a lone boy, shoving aside anyone who got in his way. Reaching for the package, he was abruptly knocked backward by a slippered foot, and crinkling cellophane announced the demise of the precious bread. 

Ryoga spun to face his attacker, and saw a younger boy, hair in a ponytail, and half a loaf of melon bread stuffed in his mouth. "_You,_" spat Ryoga. "What's your name?" 

"Mm? Smtmelmwdsu," the other boy answered around his crumbs. He swallowed, then repeated, "Saotome Ranma. And you?" 

"My name is Hibiki Ryoga, but you can call me… pain," Ryoga snarled. "Because that's what I'll be giving you for stealing _my_ melon bread!" 

"This?" asked Ranma, waving the empty wrapper, and laughing when Ryoga bared his teeth. "Eh? Chotto, 'Hibiki Ryoga'? The guy who got lost for a week last mo—" He stopped to dodge a rock-solid fist aimed for his jaw. 

"You just _shut up_ about that! You don't know what you're talking about!" The 'lost boy,' as Ranma thereafter decided to call him, was irate. "I was _not_ lost! I was— was—" 

By now, Ranma was unable to hold in his laughter. "Lost, ne? Heard it took ya two days ta reach the school gate, 

and the five after for gettin' downtown!" 

"_SHUT UP!_ IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSI—" 

The pigtailed boy smiled as his jibe got exactly the reaction he'd expected. "Want some help?" 

"—NESS… huh?" 

"I said, want some help? If ya want, I'll help ya find yer way around, nn?" 

Doubt and confusion were written all over Ryoga's face, but after a moment's hesitation, he grunted. "I… I guess so. But don't go thinking you're better than me! I just have trouble with directions, is all!" 

Ranma's smile widened at the once-again predictable response. 

—:—

_Wow, even back then, I was a jerk. No, he was, too! … but he was only asking if I wanted help. And if I'd known Ranma was really a girl, I— I— what would I have done? _Though it was only in his daydream, Ryoga steepled his fingers in anxiousness as an imaginary Ranma-chan asked him if he wanted help, did he need help getting around? 

"Oi, Ryoga, you okay in there? Need some help gettin' back ta earth?" 

"Yes, please, I'd— what? Oh, I… sorry." 

"Heh, it's okay, guess I was kinda ramblin'. Ya coulda just told me so, y'know? But anyway, you ever hear of this place called 'Jusenkyou'? 'S'where my Pops took me ta get that last step, me actually turnin' into a guy." She snorted. "It's got these springs with curses on 'em, and whichever of 'em ya fall into, ye're gonna turn into some animal or person. Pop tossed me into the 'Spring of Drowned Man,' and that's what I'd been ever since." 

"_J-Jusenkyou?!_" 

"Yeah. Ever been there? Nasty place, I hear, but it was so long ago, I can barely remember it." 

"Err, no, no, never heard of the place," Ryoga answered, a little too quickly. Ranma gave him a curious stare, then continued her story. The lost boy, however, was busy contemplating this new fact. _Jusenkyou… it's no wonder I never knew. When I met him—her, she was a guy!_

* * *

Ranma waited out the second half of the school day in the clinic. Even though Akane had simply fainted from shock, Ranma wanted to be there when she woke up. Ryoga had nowhere else to be, so he sat with the redhead, listening to her recount some of the better moments in her sixteen years. He was amazed to learn that she counted the years she'd spent with him at middle school among those times. 

An hour later, she had wound down the tale, and turned to Ryoga beside her. "So, you could say that's the story of my life," concluded the girl with a smile. "How about you? What've you been doin' all these years, eh?" 

The lost boy shrugged. "There's… not much to tell," he sighed. "I've been, well"—an embarrassed chuckle left his lips—"lost." 

"Aww, c'mon, it can't be all that bad, ne? Betcha you've seen some cool places I ain't never been to." 

"Believe me, Ranma… there are places that you _don't_ want to get lost. Didn't you say something about a place in China that was full of cursed pools? Just imagine," he said, waving his hands dramatically, "what might happen if I got lost someplace like that! I might end up as a— a camel or something!" 

Ranma's eyebrow raised at his outburst. "Camels? In China? Ryoga, buddy, you need to calm down. Hey, you ain't got a place to stay, right? Maybe I can ask Tendou-san if he'll let you sleep at the Dojo for a couple o' nights, how's that sound?" 

The boy's hand went to his head, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "Err, that's, um, fine, I guess," he replied. 

"Great!" Ranma smiled widely, then set upon Ryoga in a bear hug. "It's good ta see an old friend again, Ryoga. Glad there's no hard feelin's, ne?" 

"R-right, n-no hard f-feelings." Ranma's 'attack' had brought a crimson flush to the lost boy's face, and he was having considerable trouble keeping his mind off the prominence against him that demanded his attention. "Ano, c-can you not do that, p-please?" 

"Nn?" The redhead looked down. "Ah, gomen, Ryoga-kun," she apologized—then her smile turned sly. "How about this?" She sat down in his lap, wrapping her arms around the boy's neck, and kissing him demurely on the cheek. 

Moments later, she dove from the chair, desperately dodging the shower of blood that spouted from Ryoga's nose. 

(A/N: Bidaaah! What were you were expecting, a lemon scene? It's PG, for cryin' out loud! =·P )

* * *

"Ranma-chan, is it really such a great idea, do you think? I mean, he's a guy, and we're both girls; he might… try something, you know." Akane gingerly touched the gauze bandage on her neck, glancing at Ryoga from the corner of her eye. He walked heavily, a few paces behind them, his eyes lowered abashedly. Ever since she'd woken up, Akane noticed he hadn't once looked her in the eye, instead always watching something off in the distance, or staring at the ground. She had told him again and again, she didn't blame him (well, not _entirely_, anyway) for her injury, but he just muttered about 'desecrated honor' and 'didn't Father always say?' 

"Nah, Akane, believe me, he's not that kinda guy," Ranma insisted. "I've known him since middle school! He's all tough and everything most o' the time, but get him around a girl or two and he's the shyest thing you ever saw! Damn, if I'd only known I was a girl back then, I'd've—well, naw, I guess I wouldn't o' been at his school, then. Anyway, he'll prob'ly be okay with stayin' out in the dojo, ne? At least it's warm in there." 

"Well, all right. But he'd better be on his toes; the first sign of anything—anything! and Daddy'll have him out on the sidewalk, I know he will. I wouldn't even have been allowed to date Kuno if he weren't from a well-to-do family." 

"Maaa… you keep goin' on about that guy. He's a jerk if ya ask me. A rich, chivalrous, and really handsome jerk, sure, but a jerk." 

Akane giggled hearing Ranma's declaration. "I'm sorry, did you just call Kuno 'handsome'?" 

"Eh? So I did. What's gotten into me? I sound like a gir— never mind." 

On the verge of laughing aloud, the Tendo girl twirled around to look at Ryoga again. He still wasn't looking up—it was a wonder he was still behind them—and in the distance, a dark cloud was coming over the horizon, and she heard a quiet crash of thunder. "Looks like it's going to rain tonight, Ranma. We'd better get home quickly, or you'll have to take another bath before bed." 

"Kuso, you're right. Oi, Ryoga, you with us? Or do I gotta hold yer hand?" Ranma smirked as the lost boy's face turned pink. "Aww, c'mon, it's not like ye're my boyfriend or nothin'. Think of it like in middle school, I'm just holdin' yer hand to keep ya on track." 

Ryoga picked up his pace a little, coming up on Ranma's other side. "Thank you, but it— it's not necessary."

* * *

The trio shortly came to the front walk of the Tendo Dojo, but before they could knock, the door flew open. 

"Oh, Akane-chan, I was so worried about you! The school nurse called saying you'd been in a fight! How could you do that to your dear old father? This heart isn't what it used to be!" Tendo Soun burst from the house, sobbing and bawling as he clutched Akane's skirt. 

"Daddy, please! I wasn't in a… fight, exactly," she explained, trying to pry her father away. "I was just, well, in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm fine now, really." 

The elder Tendo stopped abruptly, and straightened. "Well, that's fine, then. I would be devastated to find out my own daughter was in a schoolyard fight. And… just who is this young man?" 

Hoping to soften the blow, Ranma took over the conversation. "Sir, I think I can explain. This is Hibiki Ryoga, an old friend of mine from chuugaku. He needs a place ta stay for a couple o' nights. Thing is, he, er, kinda attacked me, th-thinkin' I was somebody else, an' accident'ly hit Akane instead, so…." 

Soun swiveled on his toes, staring Ryoga in the eye. "You attacked one of my guests, furthermore injuring my daughter? And now you want to stay in my home?!" Though the demon-head didn't appear, those present swore that they saw Soun's face swell a few sizes. 

"Daddy, it was all an accident, a misunderstanding!" Akane interrupted. 

"He really wouldn't hurt a fly, Mister Tendo." Ranma patted Ryoga on the shoulder. "He's not a bad guy, just a little confused." The lost boy scratched his head sheepishly at the offbeat praise. 

Relaxing, Tendo Soun rocked on his heels, tapping his pipe thoughtfully. "Well, if it's only for a few days… oh, I suppose you can sleep out in the dojo, if you don't mind." 

"I don't if you don't, Tendo-sama," answered Ryoga, his head bowing even further. 

"Please, call me Soun. And be warned that I will not tolerate improper behavior in my household." 

Ryoga nodded in acknowledgment. "Of course. Gomen kudasai." 

"Not at all, young man," Soun replied in a more jovial manner. _If this boy is as honorable as Ranma says, then perhaps our troubles can be resolved_, he told himself. _But that remains to be seen._

* * *

In the dojo, a single futon was rolled out along the wall. The soothing rush of raindrops on the roof lulled Ryoga, calming him much like the river he once trained beside… he recalled fondly the days when he could walk in the rain, swim in the sea, all without fear or shame. But now, he didn't have that freedom; water was forbidden to him, or the creature that haunted him would surface. Wasn't it bad enough that he became such a helpless animal, but it had to be the sort that were eaten as a delicacy, too? Perhaps the gods were laughing at him that very moment. 

Lost once more, but in his mind, not the world, Ryoga hardly noticed as the dripping water came up around him.

* * *

Soun smiled at the muted giggles coming from Akane's bedroom. He was glad that the girls were getting along so well, especially considering the less-than-warm welcome Akane had given the redhead at first. But they'd found much in common: martial arts, a knack for trouble (his smile faltered slightly at that though), and of course, both needed a friend. For all her qualities, it seemed to him that poor Akane lacked any real friends at school, a fact that worried him almost more than a simple fight. 

Meanwhile, in the girls' room, the two had turned the night into a sort of sleepover—at which no one really sleeps, anyhow—and they were entertaining themselves with the usual ghost tales. Well, perhaps not the usual ones; Ranma was currently yarning about a demon cat that her father had set upon her under the guise of 'training,' while Akane did a good deal more laughing at the absurdity than shivering in fear. 

THUMP 

Ranma froze, fear showing in her eyes. "A-Akane… what was that?" 

"Oh, very funny, Ranma. You're not going to fool me with that one." 

"I'm s-serious, Akane! Y-you didn't hear it? That 'thump'? I heard somethin'! I swear I heard it!" 

"All right, all right. You don't have to get your stockings in a bunch. I'll go check the window, okay?" 

"Just check it out, p-please? I'm freakin' over here." 

Akane undid the window's latch and slid it open. Rain blew in, all over the desk and onto the girls' faces, but nothing more. "See? It's just your imagination. Maybe the wind knocked over a trash can or something, but there's nothing out th—" She paused, and her face paled as a gray blur shot by it. "Ranma?" 

"Yeah, Ak-kane?" 

"You did s-see that, r-right?" 

"Mm-hm." 

The girls sat, frozen in fear, watching for any other sign of the… thing. After a few minutes of waiting, they decided it must simply have been their overactive imaginations—until Ranma felt a gentle tugging at her pant sleeve. Settled in her lap was a blue-gray kitten, its eyes closed and mewling softly. The redhead sat deathly still, willing herself to stay calm, to no avail. 

"KYAAAAH! IT'S A C-C-CAT! GET IT OFFA ME! GET IT OFFA ME! OH GAWD!" 

"WAIT! RANMA, IT'S JUST A KITTEN! STOP RUNNING AROUND, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT IT!" 

"IT'S POSSESSED! I SWEAR! GET IT AWAY! AWAY!" 

"OH, COME ON YOU BIG BABY! IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU!" 

Soun smiled at the muted screams coming from Akane's bedroom. He was glad that the girls were having so much fun together.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), this chapter is much longer than I expected it to be; it's over half again as long as the other two. I doubt I'll be able to keep up this length, though. Anyway, I'd like to say I'm sorry, I know this chapter also took a lot longer to _come out with _than the others so far. I can hear you saying, "Since when is four months 'a couple of days'?" Reasons for the delay are many, the foremost being good ol' summer lazies. The kind where you tell yourself, "I finally have time to do it!" and then sit around for weeks _thinking_ about doing it. You know what I'm talking about. 

Other than that, for one thing, I found out the hard way that, for me, Ryoga is a very difficult character to write. I've got plans for him in this story, and I hope to make him a rather deeper character than in the canon, so it was a matter of finding the right balance and developing his background gradually… or somesuch mumbo-jumbo. Suffice it to say, there's a good reason he's not in too many of my other fics. 

Also, like many fanfic writers, I am a student, and what with classes, exams, grades, and some necessary recovery time, I just recently got back to writing my longer stories. Not to mention that during my break, I got a few new ideas—amazingly enough, without Ranma in them—that I've been trying to get on paper, though for the most part my series (serieses? serii? O, the simplicity of the English language) are top priority. 

Excuses, excuses, everywhere, and not a bit believed. Eh, before I go away again, however, I'd like to demonstrate one of the Musabetsu Kakutou Ryu techniques that I've been practicing. [Kneels with hands on ground] Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Gomen na— WHAM Itai… that is one hard floor…. 

_Ryoga_: Hey, CompMan! What are you doing in Niigata? 

[Stands up shakily, rubbing forehead] Huh? Niigata?! This is Florida! 

_Ryoga_: Oh…? Well, that would explain all the 'Disney World' signs. 

Probably… and if you plan on making it back to Tokyo for the next chapter, I'd suggest you get a head-start now. 

_Ryoga_: Er… yeah. But while I have the chance, I want to ask… you're not going to have me falling in love with Ranma-chan like all those other cheesy 'Ranma-becomes-a-girl' fics, are you? 

[Grinning evilly] Maybe, maybe not. 

_Ryoga [sweatdrops]_: Y'know, that's just _wrong._

Oh, okay, okay; _probably_ not. 

And as I've said before, but I'm sure some people are starting to wonder since it's been so long: I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Jaa! 

**Next chapter:** Say hello to… Ki-chan! Ryoga discovers the joys—and sorrows—of his curse! Stay tuned for **Part 4: The Cat's Pyjamas!**

P.S. Disney World is a copyright and registered trademark of the Walt Disney Corporation and is used without permission. In addition, the views and opinions expressed by Hibiki Ryoga are not necessarily the views and opinions held by the author. I would hardly call such fics 'cheesy'; heck, I'm writing one myself, and many of the others I've read were excellent, cute even. :·) 

P.P.S. I may not be there, but Niigata _is_ the home of a certain dear woman who wrote and illustrated a series of comics about a boy who was cursed to become a beautiful girl… oh, you've heard of her? All right, then. 


	4. Omake 1 — Outtakes Chapter 1–3

**"Wild Like You"**  
A Ranma ½ Fanfiction by CompMan44  
Romance/Comedy/AU

**Disclaimer (CMA):** The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews.

* * *

**"Wild Like You" Omake: Outtakes, Chapters 1-3**

* * *

_Part 1, Scene 1_

The Tendo household was as serene as ever. Someone with a Polaroid and a nice tree limb to sit in could make a fortune selling postcards with its photo. He wasn't planning to make postcards, however. Actually, he wasn't even taking pictures of the house. His target was inside.

Akane Tendo. Even thinking the name sent chills of desire down his spine. Akane Tendo. _Ooh, nice._ Akane Tendo. _Aaah… Whoa! There she is!_

Click Click Click-click-click

He rapidly snapped shot after shot, watching intently as she swirled her skirt, looking at herself in the mirror. Her blue-green school uniform, complete with loose stockings and a matching hair bow, was supplemented by a less-than-modest amount of rose-colored (and scented, he had learned) lipstick, and a generous dab of emerald eyeshadow (with flecks of silver—he didn't get that telephoto lens for _nothing_).

Leaning over in the tree's sturdy canopy to get a clearer shot, he nearly—

CRASH

Hearing the noise, Akane rushed to the bedroom window, throwing it open. "Oh Kami-sama! Hikaru? Are you okay?" She couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Gosunkugi Hikaru's sprawled form at the foot of the tree.

"I— I'm fine. Nothing broken but my pride," he replied, chuckling. Reaching up to the crown on his head, he added, "And a few bulbs, I guess."

"Cut," CompMan sighed, just loudly enough for both to hear him. "So much for doing the easy shot in one take," he muttered. "Okay, Gos, try not going so far out on the branch next time. Mousse, could you get him some bulbs from the supply closet?" The Amazon nodded. "Good. And when he gets back, everybody be back in your places; we're taking it from the top."

Mousse headed off toward the kitchen, though the supply closet was in the other direction, while the rest of the cast murmered their assent, moving to get ready for the next take.

(Director's Note: Do you actually think I'd use _real_ flames up in a tree with this gang?)

* * *

_Part 1, Scene 6_

Akane, in her familiar yellow gi, practically danced around Ranma, throwing punches like fastballs, trying desperately to break through his defenses. _Is he reading my moves?_ she wondered to herself.

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight _back?_"

No sooner did the words leave her mouth, than Ranma had flipped over her head, rebounded from the wall, and crashed right into Akane, toppling the couple to the floor.

"Cut! Are you two okay?"

"Jeez, Ranma, what'd you do that for?!" Akane shouted, trying to push a dazed Ranma-kun off of her chest. "Great, now I sound like you."

Ranma shook his head to clear it. "Ah, jeez, Akane, sorry. Hehe… guess I slipped," he explained, scratching the back of his head. Then he noticed where he was sitting, and stood up, blushing sheepishly. He extended a hand to Akane, helping her to her feet.

"All right, guys. Let's try that again," CompMan called, pausing for the pair to take their places. "Part One, scene Six, take Two. And… action!"

* * *

_Part 1, Scene 6 (Take Two)_

Akane, in her familiar yellow gi, practically danced around Ranma, throwing punches like fastballs, trying desperately to break through his defenses. _Is he reading my moves?_ she wondered to herself.

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight _back?_"

No sooner did the words leave her mouth, than Ranma had flipped over her head, rebounded from the wall, and tapped the back of her head, claiming his victory. For a few seconds they stood there, then Akane turned around, and they bowed to one another.

"You're better than I gave you credit for, Ranma. Sorry I doubted you," she said with a smile.

"Hey, you're not half bad yourself. Nice power, gotta work on your defense, though."

"Friends?" She extended a hand.

"Friends." He took it, and gave a quick shake.

"I'm _so_ glad you're a girl. I'd have felt _horrible_ losing to a guy like that."

Ranma stared at her—no, through her—for a moment, but smiled broadly, before breaking into unrestrained laughter. "A-Akane! Haha! 'Glad you're a girl,' a-ha-hah, ha. Oh, jeez," he groaned, clutching his stomach, but still laughing. "That was… heh… that was great." Finally he toppled over, chuckles convulsing his body every few seconds. Akane, soon realizing her slip-up, joined him.

Across the set, CompMan sat on a folding chair, nearly doubled over by his own laughter. "That _was_ pretty good," he admitted, then raised his megaphone, saying, "I probably don't have to tell you, but 'Cut.'"

Ranma and Akane nodded, bringing their guffaws under control, and returning to the middle of the dojo.

"Okay, then. Take Three it is."

* * *

_Part 1, Scene 6 (Take Three)_

Akane, in her familiar yellow gi, practically danced around Ranma, throwing punches like fastballs, trying desperately to break through his defenses. _Is he reading my moves?_ she wondered to herself.

To Ranma, she complained, "Come on! Aren't you at least gonna fight _back?_"

No sooner did the words leave her mouth, than Ranma had flipped over her head, rebounded from the wall, and tapped the back of her head, claiming his victory. For a few seconds they stood there, then Akane turned around, and they bowed to one another.

"You're better than I gave you credit for, Ranma. Sorry I doubted you," she said with a smile.

"Hey, you're not half bad yourself. Nice power, gotta work on your defense, though."

"Friends?" She extended a hand.

"Friends." He reached to take it, but as he did, Akane's hand shot up, and she poked Ranma's forehead--hard. His balance lost, the pigtailed boy fell over backward, flailing his arms in vain.

"CUT! Akane, what was that? I _know_ that wasn't in the script. I wrote it, after all," hollered CompMan.

The youngest Tendo was laughing to the point of tears, and so couldn't answer right away. "I-- I'm sorry-- haha-- I couldn't-- couldn't resist," she forced through her sobs. Ranma just sat on the floor, shaking his head in bemusement.

CompMan glowered at Akane. "Come on, guys. We're on a budget, you know. And that's not even big enough to afford being sued, much less any enormous overscheduling costs."

"All right, all right, sorry," she said, and took up another stance. Ranma stood up as well, settling into his trademark non-stance. "I'm ready."

"Me, too," said Ranma, looking at Akane and readying himself for her assault.

"Good. Scene Six, take Four. I hope it's the last one." (Director's Note: It was, thank Kami-sama. :·)

* * *

_Part 1, Scene 9_

"Was that Akane?" Nabiki asked of her older sister.

"I… I think so…"

They were quickly answered when the girl in question, wearing only a towel, burst into the sitting room, shrieking like a banshee.

"What on earth is wrong, Akane?"

"There's a strange girl in the furo!" screamed Akane, gesturing wildly with her arms. As she did so, the hastily wrapped towel fell around her ankles, but the girl continued shouting, oblivious.

"Hey, Akane," commented a busty redheaded girl, calmly walking down the stairs. "Looking good."

"Huh?" Akane responded, stopping her rant in mid-sentence. She glanced down. "Eeeek!" Quickly kneeling, she grabbed the towel and wrapped it a little more tightly as blood rushed to her cheeks—not from anger, either.

Clamping his nose between two fingers, CompMan called into his megaphone. "Cut, cut. As much as I liked it," he said in a nasal voice, coughing suggestively, "we can't show that on national television. So… take Two."

* * *

_Part 2, Scene 4_

Kasumi spent the rest of the morning trying, with little success, to help Ranma feel comfortable with being a girl. She had started by teaching her feminine speech (much of which Ranma had never even _heard_, much less spoken; and even after learning it, she preferred not to use it), and gone on to show her how to put on the school uniform—at which Ranma was _not_ very pleased.

"I gotta wear _this_ thing?!" she exclaimed, holding up the blue dress that constituted that uniform.

"Yes, Ranma, you must; I'm sorry, but you're registered as a girl, so you're required to wear the girls' uniform and take the girls' curriculum," Kasumi said, and handed Ranma the white underskirt and blue sash that went with the dress.

"Why do I gotta go ta school, anyway? I'm a martial artist; I ain't gonna—"

"'I'm not going to—'"

"Whatever. _I'm not_ gonna need no—"

"'Any—'"

"Okay, okay! _Any_ o' that math and writin' ta be a good martial artist, am I? So why bother?"

The eldest Tendo shook her head, sighing. Ranma was going to be a hard nut to crack, she could tell. But, if she'd managed with Akane, she could probably handle Ranma—she hoped. _Best to start with the basics,_ she decided.

"Well… how about this, Ranma. Let's say you're teaching classes at the dojo. You charge beginners five thousand yen an hour, intermediate students seven thousand an hour, and advanced students ten thousand an hour. If you instructed eight beginners, five intermediates, and one advanced student, all for an hour apiece, how much money would you make?"

"Uhh…" Ranma tallied off the numbers on her fingers. "More'n I'd know what to do with," she said after several seconds.

Kasumi sweatdropped. "Eighty-five," she hissed.

"Eh?" asked the redhead, confused.

"Eighty-five thousand yen," Kasumi said, in a slightly louder whisper.

"Oh, right. Eighty-five thousand yen, of course."

"Forget it, Ranma," CompMan groaned into his megaphone. He put his head in his hands. "Just cut."

* * *

_Part 2, Scene 8_

"Do mine eyes deceive me? Or have the heavens indeed deemed myself worthy of yet another serendipitous rendezvous with this goddess in onyx crowned? I would prostrate myself before thee."

"Ohayo, Kuno-chan. Really, if this is a chance meeting, I'd hate to see your idea of a planned one. Have you been standing out here all morning?"

"Nay, fair Akane Tendo; in sooth I have awaited you since nightfall."

Somehow, that didn't surprise her—neither that he had spent so long preparing and waiting for her, nor that he admitted, or rather, boasted about doing so. He was a boy, to be sure (as sure as she could be, anyway), but he was a bit… thick-headed. Even for a boy. She was trying to come up with a suitably stinging reply—the humor in which would most likely sail miles above Kuno's head—but the kendoist spoke before she got a chance.

"And who, prithee, is this?" he exclaimed, finally seeing Ranma standing beside the original object of his affection. Stooping to one knee before her, he took her hand and continued, "A foreign beauty, perhaps, by her locks of reddest flame? A beauty she is, indeed, for those who would claim otherwise must be utter fools. Surely such a vision of loveliness has come hearing rumors of my chivalry and honor, and wishes to dine with me? Very well, then, I, Kuno Tatewaki, age seventeen, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall—"

Akane, who was quietly seething throughout Kuno's soliloquoy, heard a crack of thunder from the sky above. Suddenly, she noticed just what he was saying. "Um… Kuno? I thought we agreed at the run-through that you should leave that part out."

"We did," grumbled CompMan. "And for a good reason."

The kendoist glanced at Akane questioningly for a moment, then her meaning reached him, at about the same time as the first raindrops hit the ground. "So we did. Very well, I shall try harder to remember for next time…" Kuno stopped, realizing that he now held the hand of a cold, wet, _male_ Ranma. "The foul sorceror Saotome!" he exclaimed. "How is it that you now appear before me, where once stood the illustrious pigtailed goddess?!"

Ranma stared at the other boy, one eyebrow twitching slightly. "Uh, Kuno? I thought you said you'd finally got the point."

Kuno stood, releasing Ranma's hand. He nodded sagely, answering in a respecting tone tainted with some measure of contempt. "It is so. Forsooth, I have known for some time, despite my actions. It pains me greatly to accept that my osage-no-onna and yourself are one and the same, but at the same stroke, I realize that were it not so, things would never… work out… between us, anyhow. 'Like the wind,' as I once said, would she flutter into my heart, verily, into my soul, and fly away once more to be with her fellow angels, winging on high, the gilt harp of her voice—"

"Kuno, shut up," CompMan interrupted.

"Certainly, kantoku-sama."

"Okay, everybody, let's get as much equipment indoors as we can. We'll try take Two after the rain lets up."

* * *

_Part 3, Scene 3_

_Now where am I?_ Ryoga thought, eyeing the town's bright banners and market stands. _Maybe I should ask someone for directions—again._ He approached a man at a smaller booth. "Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to Furinkan High School? Right here, you see, on this map."

"Ah, sir… this is a map of Tokyo."

"Of course. That's where I'm headed," Ryoga stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But you're in Sapporo!"

"Er… really? Crap. Which way is Tokyo from here?"

"It's pretty much straight that way," the stranger replied. He pointed southward, to where Ryoga could just make out Mount Fuji's peak through the mist.

"Thank you very much."__

"Umm… hey, Ryoga, where are you going? That's the way I pointed," said the booth owner.

Ryoga stopped, and turned to give the man a curious look. "Right, that's why I'm going-- oh. Hehe." He scratched the back of his head.

"Cut," CompMan yelled into the megaphone. "Oh, boy… even when you're _trying_ to get lost, you get lost, Ryoga," he continued, chuckling. "Places, guys. Take Two."

* * *

_Part 3, Scene 3 (Take Two)_

_Now where am I?_ Ryoga thought, eyeing the town's bright banners and market stands. _Maybe I should ask someone for directions—again._ He approached a man at a smaller booth. "Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to Furinkan High School? Right here, you see, on this map."

"Ah, sir… this is a map of Sapporo."

"Of course. I'm _in_ Sappo--" Ryoga stopped short. "Wait, what happened to my map of Tokyo!"

The man laughed, saying, "I don't think you'll find a Tokyo high school in Sapporo, Ryoga."

"Cut! Maybe in some other Japan," offered CompMan with a laugh. "Who switched the maps?"

A tentative hand raised beside him. "Sorry," Mousse admitted. He shrugged. "They look the same from a distance."

"Sure they do… sure they do. Take Three, people."

* * *

_Part 3, Scene 11_

Ranma waited out the second half of the school day in the clinic. Even though Akane had simply fainted from shock, Ranma wanted to be there when she woke up. Ryoga had nowhere else to be, so he sat with the redhead, listening to her recount some of the better moments in her sixteen years. He was amazed to learn that she counted the years she'd spent with him at middle school among those times.

An hour later, she had wound down the tale, and turned to Ryoga beside her. "So, you could say that's the story of my life," concluded the girl with a smile. "How about you? What've you been doin' all these years, eh?"

The lost boy shrugged. "There's… not much to tell," he sighed. "I've been, well"—an embarrassed chuckle left his lips—"lost."

"Aww, c'mon, it can't be all that bad, ne? Betcha you've seen some cool places I ain't never been to."

"Believe me, Ranma… there are places that you _don't_ want to get lost. Didn't you say something about a place in China that was full of cursed pools? Just imagine," he said, waving his hands dramatically, "what might happen if I got lost someplace like that! I might end up as a— a canteloupe or something!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow, and a smirk lit her face. "Good think I like canteloupe, then," she teased.

CompMan took up his megaphone, and shouted "Cut!"

"Sorry," Ryoga said, shrugging in embarrassment. "I knew it was something with 'c' in it."

"_Camel_," Ranma and CompMan said as one. The redhead added, "You know, the things with humps."

It was CompMan's turn to raise his eyebrow. Perhaps some things were better left unsaid. But he could think them. _Akane was right. He is a pervert._ "From the top, guys."

* * *

_Part 3, Scene 11 (Take Two)_

Ranma waited out the second half of the school day in the clinic. Even though Akane had simply fainted from shock, Ranma wanted to be there when she woke up. Ryoga had nowhere else to be, so he sat with the redhead, listening to her recount some of the better moments in her sixteen years. He was amazed to learn that she counted the years she'd spent with him at middle school among those times.

An hour later, she had wound down the tale, and turned to Ryoga beside her. "So, you could say that's the story of my life," concluded the girl with a smile. "How about you? What've you been doin' all these years, eh?"

The lost boy shrugged. "There's… not much to tell," he sighed. "I've been, well"—an embarrassed chuckle left his lips—"lost."

"Aww, c'mon, it can't be all that bad, ne? Betcha you've seen some cool places I ain't never been to."

"Believe me, Ranma… there are places that you _don't_ want to get lost. Didn't you say something about a place in China that was full of cursed pools? Just imagine," he said, waving his hands dramatically, "what might happen if I got lost someplace like that! I might end up as a— a consultant or something!"

"CUUUUUT!"

"What?" Ryoga asked.

Ranma grinned. "You did it again."

"Dammit."

"Take Three," announced CompMan.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Thankfully, except for Chapter 3, our many setbacks were resolved quickly. This little omake is just to say, "I'm still alive, guys!" And for good measure, so that you don't think I'm lazing off like last time, here's a quick teaser for Chapter 4….

* * *

_Teaser for _**Part 4: The Cat's Pyjamas**

* * *

"Ohayo…" came a tired greeting from the back door. Kasumi looked up from her work, and gasped.

"Ah! Ranma-chan! What on earth are you doing out there? Did something happen to you?"

Ranma yawned widely and stretched his arms above his head, dripping rainwater onto the floor. "Kasumi? Why're ya— _ooooh._ Naw, not some_thing_—some_one_. And his name's Ki-chan," he hissed.

"'Ki-chan'?" inquired Kasumi. "Is he a boy from school?"

"Worse," the pigtailed boy answered, yawning again, but this time remembering to cover his mouth politely. "Much worse. He's a _c-cat_."

"Oh, my. Where did you find him? Do you plan to keep him? If you do, I'll go to the store and get some things for him," said the eldest Tendo, a friendly smile on her face. "Cats are so cute, don't you think? Especially kittens."

Muttering under her breath, Ranma shook his head. "No. They aren't. And it ain't mine. It's Akane's," he grumbled. He trudged to the staircase, nearly tripping over the first step while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Kasumi looked a little abashed at Ranma's rudeness, but took it in stride. "I see; I never knew Akane had gotten a cat. I'll have to ask her about it," Kasumi said quietly to herself. "I do hope she's keeping it."

Ranma tripped over the top step.

* * *

**Back to the Author: **Here I go again. I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Jaa! 


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